Self-awareness Doesn’t Grow on Trees

I would love to be more self-aware.  I have this girlfriend that has mastered it.  She has taken quirks that don’t just work for everyone and turned them into assets because she recognizes them in herself and knows how to manage them.  Not me.  Recently, someone told me that I am an intimidating person.  Me? Me!  Here’s the thing.  I don’t know if he was kidding or not.  I have these huge gaps in my self-awareness.  So,  I’m hoping to take a new direction this year with my blogging and use it to learn a little bit more about myself.  See, in a few years, I plan on starting a new career, and as of yet, I don’t know exactly what I want to be when  grow up.  Don’t get me wrong, I have some ideas, but not a solid action plan.  I don’t feel confident enough to recognize what I am good at, what I am bad at, and what I would get bored with too easily.  So, I plan on putting myself out there a bit more in hopes of figuring it all out.  Isn’t it what we’re all looking for?  What should I BE when I grow up?  How should I define myself?

One thing I do know, is that I struggle with perfection.  No, really.  Often I have it under control, but I see it rear its ugly head when I am in unfamiliar territory.  Like when I am writing.  I’m so afraid of writing the wrong thing that I avoid it.  So, I’m going to take the plunge.  Write with no sense of direction and see where I end up and what it tells me about myself.  I hope you’ll join me, and maybe point out a few obvious (to you) points.  I can’t promise to teach you anything, or really even to make this journey worth your while (unless you enjoy sarcasm, in which case, I can provide a healthy dose), but maybe you’ll stick with it out of morbid curiosity?!

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